Your Kids Know
Long before they can explain it, they're paying attention.
Ryan Michler told me a story last week that I haven't been able to shake.
When he was a kid in Boy Scouts, there were different kinds of men leading them.
And even as boys—they knew.
There were men who carried themselves differently.
Strong. Capable. Disciplined.
Men who clearly took care of themselves and appeared to have their sh/t together. When those men spoke? The boys hung on their words.
They wanted their attention.
They wanted their approval.
They wanted those men to think they were doing a good job.
And then there were other men. They technically had the same position. Same title. Same authority. But they clearly weren't holding themselves to the same standard. And the boys knew that, too.
Their words simply didn't carry the same weight.
That got me.
Because our kids know, too.
They might not be able to articulate it yet.
But they're watching.
How you carry yourself.
Whether you keep your word.
How you treat their mother.
Whether you can contain yourself when you're angry.
Whether you take care of your body.
Whether you do difficult things.
Whether the standards you expect from them are standards you actually live by yourself.
And slowly they're answering a question:
Is dad a man worth listening to?
Being their father gives you authority.
For a while, you can make them listen.
You can take the phone. Set the curfew. Enforce the rule. Hand out the consequence. But eventually? They don't have to listen anymore.
And then we're going to find out what we actually built.
Because when your son is 18, 25, 35 and life punches him in the mouth —
you don't merely want to be his father.
You want to be one of the men whose counsel he seeks.
Who when he asks "what would dad do?" he gets the right answer.
And that isn't guaranteed by biology.
It's earned. It's the life he watched you live in front of him.
Ryan and I went deep into this in our Patriarch Preview last week.
Listen to the full conversation here
And then ask yourself one question:
If I weren't their father, would the way I live make me a man my children would want to follow?
// Raise them up in the way.
x Rob
P.S. Ryan is one of the 9 men joining me for PATRIARCH this September.
September 11–13 // $17 GA // $47 VIP
If you're on fire for your family and want to lead them even better:
The Beacon
For men who refuse to drift and choose sacrificial, legendary leadership.
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